Rooted caos

Complication, experimentation,combination, permutation of a host of idiotic moments.

You are fed things,always.
You are led, and you tread.

You dont know who YOU are, and you want the whole goddamn world to understand you?!
You want to party, and you want to be left alone.
You want to cry,shut out and you'd want a stranger to know about your story.

Contraries define you, and you seek ONE definition?


Fear, of hitting,getting hit,loving,being left.
Fear ,of annoying, losing,moving,pissing,hissing,kissing, It doesn't matter if sense becomes senseless.

I want to go on a long long walk.
I want to erase human presence around me, 'my' people-i'd like them dead. They wont hold the power to control my subconscious.Well, the conscious is beyond my reach.
I'd wade on a rainy day, drenched in green serenity. Its nice to feel alone, as long as you don't fall into the trap of feeling lonely.Im too old for sunny days now, rain looks promising. Grim,Dust,Mud look fruitful,reminding you of the earth's humanity.

You leave,you are left, you want-to-be, and you push it too hard then.

I have seen 21 summers, and the sunshine doesn't yet wed my smile.