Orange dreams

I cant stop wondering at my propensity to like more than one man at a time, and an even deathlier potential to brood over getting none.

An extraordinary encounter (well, i have a couple to my credit anyway)a few days back, metro kolkata, nice, sweet, maybe even hot, a guy basically.(LOL). Like all rides, this ride too, came to an end, with both of us going our ways.(never mind the eyes-met, violins played).. frankly i guess i am 60 by now, when it comes to such encounters.

Today, i met him again(well,it isn't rocket science. The time, ride and coach were the same, i got on to it unconsciously, looking the most horrible ME, while he maynot have.(- im glad i like myself enough to be believing that still). I Waved at him today, DUDE, pow! , he looked away??

Moving on, i shall take the same metro on monday. And not look at HIM! HAH!

post this venting out.

To be a pervert, is normal. To be a schizo-pervert, is scary.
Men at HT are schizo perverts.
They talk sex, all day long.
Hardly get to do it im guessing.
Erectile dysfunction's something that's a part of their lives by now. I don't mind asking them to see a doctor?

The women are- annoying, jealous of each other, very submissive to lascivious remarks, and absolutely inclined to self idiocy. Basically, i cant make my nest here.
The head editor looks promising,the only one i like. She hardly comes to office.

The men are always interested to know about me, the women cant stop speculating.

I wonder sometimes if this is the way the City desk in HT kolkata works, or everywhere else?
It is kind of sad , that, i cant vent ,out.
I need my certificate.



Moving on, Babul laughs at my expense.
I dont care.
I love her.
She is beautiful.

Just in case, Babul,my grandmother.

Ahoy!, what?

Disclaimer- i'm kind of pissed.

Well, i'm under a debt of 4000 bucks, (thanks to my want of luxury travel)more details of which i shan't reveal.
I have been spending a lot on shoes of late, even though iv been wanting to go get a guitar for myself and maybe a kitten.(yes, i can be THAT mad?)
Not that my shoes are worth the guitar(or the kitten), but they have this saying right? umm.. er..aa..m.. boond boond se banta hai sagar? something-oh bte, kolkata's truly the sagar state rite now.Raining and stuff.
Nevermind.

Im extremely perturbed with how i can manage to while my time away sitting in front of the compute reading about Bluefrog studios , marquez, Ht blogs(btw they are amazing), michael modhusudan dooto, organic food, new japanese short movie and brainstorming on how to stalk people you know(??) on facebook.
Interning here is good idea(HT), but managing a Harry potter, a wannabe Schizo, a jerk-off, more than one perverts and a weird nemesis to Rani mukherjee, all at once, and in a one day framework, is SO TIRING?

My eating habits are sad. I eat in the morning, eat in the afternoon and eat at night.

I have been screwing up people(well, not yet been there literally, seems fun though).I fight, and then I make up, well,i fight, and then I make up.So basically, i have lost that o-my-god-im-so-cool-ill-hangout-with-my-idiotic-self-on-my-own.
I guess i need people to make the perfect evening/afternoons for me now, basically, iv just gotten selfish.
or maybe realised that iv always been that?

I want to party.But my funds look poor (both money and people, since I HAVE SCREWED up both.)My fancy internship can allow me that , but a jerkie is not getting off my head,and i feel indebted to take that person along with me, but im not really that interested, so then..why?
Ok, WTF nevermind.


I have a few more things to write here, but im kind of wondering if my literary capabilities have extinguished for now.

Oh,Ofcourse there is a lot more to write on.
Im not feeling better, yet!!

Rooted caos

Complication, experimentation,combination, permutation of a host of idiotic moments.

You are fed things,always.
You are led, and you tread.

You dont know who YOU are, and you want the whole goddamn world to understand you?!
You want to party, and you want to be left alone.
You want to cry,shut out and you'd want a stranger to know about your story.

Contraries define you, and you seek ONE definition?


Fear, of hitting,getting hit,loving,being left.
Fear ,of annoying, losing,moving,pissing,hissing,kissing, It doesn't matter if sense becomes senseless.

I want to go on a long long walk.
I want to erase human presence around me, 'my' people-i'd like them dead. They wont hold the power to control my subconscious.Well, the conscious is beyond my reach.
I'd wade on a rainy day, drenched in green serenity. Its nice to feel alone, as long as you don't fall into the trap of feeling lonely.Im too old for sunny days now, rain looks promising. Grim,Dust,Mud look fruitful,reminding you of the earth's humanity.

You leave,you are left, you want-to-be, and you push it too hard then.

I have seen 21 summers, and the sunshine doesn't yet wed my smile.

Oh Welcome me back already?

After having begun writing on this platform about two years back , i decided TODAY that i did after all evolve(ahem, a little) since i'd last written here and therefore deleted my previous posts only to make space for some more new re-cycled shit.
YES- I RESURRECTED by blog. (sigh)

i shall begin with my daily affairs soon and some historical referencing shall easily follow.

For now,lets raise a toast to the following poem,while i also sort out how to change the goddamn colour of my blog, quite simultaneously or NOT?

Well,What goes around comes around ehh?then good things do too technically?
why cry therefore? why cry lotto?-Satan

Pink my dreams,your truly -Red.

But your gardener likes the Sun?Why do you then want prometheus to cry?-Cool daddy Zeus.

Be my love?-Toothpaste

I think i'd want to mope a bit,can you stop pushing me down you?-h20

Give me a wire,not some lyre?- Microphone.

The air is just misty now, wonder what love's gotta do with it?-St. Valentine.

War is on baby!-how bout getting that peice of cake NOW!- Tolstoy